August 2009
26 posts
Game
Bruce: so girls got game?
Bry: no, girls don't got game. Bryanna and Jessica got game >;] haha.
Jessica: hahahahahahahaha.
JUST A INSIDE JOKE.
I'm gonna fucken kill you if you fucken even try...
-heated.
“Sorry for the trouble that I put you and your heart through, God knows that I’d...”
– Lil Wayne (via soleroyalty) (via deeeez)
“Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes… just be an illusion.”
– Jovan (via bbyrhey)
“When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons & bail.”
– Kunu from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (via bbyrhey)
fmylife:
Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidently dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML
fmylife:
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
fmylife:
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn’t stolen by any of those people. FML
HAHAHAAHHA !
fmylife:
Today, my boyfriend and I made a date to try to save our relationship. I sat in his room for hours while he watched YouTube videos of World of Warcraft. FML
fmylife:
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn’t been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred’s dead body. I was actually sad. FML
fmylife:
Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me “the stereotype”. FML
fmylife:
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
fmylife:
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn’t notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn’t get it. FML
Beautiful.
ooohweemartina:
drayce:
For all the girls that don’t feel as beautiful being in a relationship :
I’m sorry my hair isn’t as long as the other girls you see that can whip around. I’m sorry that my shirts aren’t as tight to show my real body figure. I’m sorry my boobs aren’t showing through the cut shirts that most girls wear. Sorry, i can’t wear skirts that are as short as possible. I’m...
“Relationships fall apart. Friendships end. Hearts break. But the love doesn’t...”
– (via kimberlyjane) (via bbyrhey) (via dianaamartin) (via kathyngochalovee) (via itsznancy) (via thaobbby) (via caroll760)
fmylife:
Today, it’s my first wedding anniversary, or Paper anniversary. I got him airline tickets for an expensive weekend break for two in Berlin. He got me a toilet roll. FML
fmylife:
Today, my divorce was finalized. As I was leaving the courthouse, I noticed my ex-husband getting into a car with his new girlfriend. I knew that he’d been cheating on me with some bimbo, but I’d never seen her face. As I tried to get a better look, I realized that the ‘bimbo’ was my mother. FML
HAHAHAHAHHAmeanie.
fmylife:
Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied “Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer.” FML
fmylife:
Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, “I thought you didn’t give tickets to pretty girls”, his response, “We don’t”. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML
fmylife:
Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML
July 2009
126 posts
Darod;
brybabbyy: I'm so bored that I'm looking through like everyone's pictures, haha.
brybabbyy: guess who's pictures I'm on right now
Baby Yipe: who's?
brybabbyy: yours, bwahaah.
Baby Yipe: nice
Baby Yipe: sexy huh/
brybabbyy: haha, I guess. one thing's missing though.
Baby Yipe: wut?
brybabbyy: A picture with me ]:
brybabbyy: haahha.
Baby Yipe: ah, well then we'll have to take a picture once ur done being dead
brybabbyy: haha, okaaayy.
Baby Yipe: which might be a whiiilee
Baby Yipe: jkay
brybabbyy: hahaha, thanksss -_-
Baby Yipe: anytime dollface
brybabbyy: hahah, mmhhmm.
““Love is an attempt to change a piece of a dream world into a reality””
– Henry David Thoreau. (via itsznancy) (via caroll760)
6655.) Every time i am truly happy, I feel like...
killaisabellej:
sheg0tyoulyin:
ginajang: (via blogsecret)
“Love and electricity are on in the same, my dear. If you do not feel the jolt in...”
– (via kimberlyjane) (via killaisabellej)
“MiSS YOU Li0k CUH-RAZY.”
– I miss kissing you. I miss hugging you. I miss you holding me. I miss you singing to me. I miss singing to you. I miss da way you make me laugh. I miss da way you make me mad. I miss yelling at you. I miss coussing at you. I miss making fun of you. I miss da way you clowned on me. I miss da way you...
“Tryin’ to decide, tryin’ to decide if I, really wanna go out...”
– In bed I lay, with nothing but your T-Shirt on.
BEING SICK SUCKS.
: why don't you try going to sleep?
me: nah, I rather talk to you(:
: oh yeah, thats right. I'll make you feel better, I'm a natural medicine.
“You never forget your first true love .
Either the scars they left behind stay...”
– (via jaaasminecate)
“Sometimes you dont know what you got, till you lose what you got.”
– (via jazzzyyrivera)
I hate
how the tumbilarity goes down when I don’t go on for like a couple days ]:
I’m siiicckk ! GROUNDED &yeah, itt suucckkss.
Misunderstandings of love. Some deep ass shiet.
caroll760:
8lao5bunny8:
ermirakoxha:
ayejolene:
This is very beautiful and inspiring. Please take your time to read it. Your perception of love will change.
There was once a man who didn’t believe in love. This was an ordinary man just like you and me, but what made this man special was his way of thinking: He thought love doesn’t exist. Of course, he had a lot of experience trying to...
i was on tumblr before tumblarity was born....
janaong:
iamculture:
maypeacebriwithyou:
briannebott:
captainoo:
thisorigamidream:
pacheeks:
guideyouinthenight:
onthewing:
tinyxo:
whatshisname:
jeezits:
(via unicornshoes)
“There’s some words I never told you.”
– Vanessa Carlton (via quotewhore) (via mangoboootay)
“I’m Probablly in the sky,
flying with the fishes.
Or maybe in the ocean,...”
– Lil Wayne (via mmmay)
“you’ll be in my heart , no matter what they say”
– jaurene . (via mangoboootay)
just when I was about to like you, just when WE...
D; D; D; D;
me: You have a girlfriend?
him: No.
me: Well, _______ said you guys were going out.
him: what?
me: YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, you're going out with ______ .
him: oh yeah, I forgot.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU FORGET? tryna get me killed : /